Ginny & I have settled in after quite a bit of traveling. We visited New York City. We were able to create some great new memories and reminisce of past ones with our son. We took it all in: David Letterman, Mama Mia, and Ginny’s guided tours through the boroughs- until I was too sore to walk anymore. Being away and being together was good for us both. Ginny loves the city and I got to see her smile a little more often.
We then, through an incredible gift, were able to take six friends to the beach for a long weekend. This trip was a small thank you to a few close friends who we could never adequately thank. There was beach football, shopping, and a whole lot of sitting around. Any time with this group promised to be great, and it was.
With that said, one thing has become abundantly clear. We hurt. Whether in New York or home, busy or bored, together or alone. We miss him. There is a painful emptiness for which there is no cure. Our future hope has not dulled today’s pain.
Ginny and I, throughout this journey, have sought to be honest. We do not feel a responsibility to put a smiley face at the end of every account of pain. The fear of airing one’s true feelings, when dealing with pain, is a real one. For believers, we do not want to push others away by admitting our horrible thoughts and pain. However, anything else is hypocrisy. It is our belief that our God will be glorified through a truthful accounting of our experience. It will be ugly, and revealing as to our weakness. And this is precisely why we need Him.
I have feared this post. Fearful that I have nothing to say. I struggle to have a complete thought, for they are always being cut short with doubt. As I have fought with how I feel, I will tell of what I know. Throughout this time, I can say with full confidence that God has been present. He has not come with thunder & lightning as I had hoped for. He was not the healer that I had prayed for. However, He was ever lingering, always surprising. Making an appearance in the most unlikely manner at an improbable time. Then again, I guess that was the theme with Eliot.
Therefore, God was faithful- doing that which He promised. The word reminds us that He is able to do anything. But He is bound by very little. He will always love us and He will never leave us. He did not do all that I asked for. But He did all that He promised.
Thanks to all of you who have sent cards and prayed and encouraged us to continue to tell Eliot’s story. We are seeking ways to continue the impact of our little boy. Many things are in the discussion phase. Please know that you are a part of this story. If you feel so led, encourage someone to read the story or let us know if you have any ideas (firstname.lastname@example.org & email@example.com). We still love posts and more than anything, if Eliot’s story has meant something to you, please let us know. Thank you all for joining in on this journey.
The “eliot” necklace is now able to be ordered online (www.virginiabead.com). Again, $10 from each sale will be placed in a fund for something great. Details will come, as we are currently investigating how we can best continue Eliot’s impact.
May you hug those close to you all a little tighter this holiday.
Matt & Ginny Mooney